So, you’re single. Maybe you’ve been out of the dating game for a while, or maybe you’re just tired of all the dead-end swipes and ghosted chats. Whatever brought you here, one thing’s clear—you’re ready to meet someone real.
But let’s face it: dating in today’s world is wild. Between dating apps, social platforms, and people playing games, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or discouraged before you even start.
That’s why this guide exists. It’s here to walk you through how to get started with dating and actually connect with singles—without making it feel like a second job.
Let’s break it all down.
Step 1: Get Your Mindset Right First
Before you jump into dating apps or flirt at your local coffee shop, pause. Ask yourself what you really want out of this.
Are you:
- Looking for a serious relationship?
- Hoping to meet new people and see what happens?
- Just getting back into dating after a breakup or long pause?
Be honest with yourself. Knowing what you want will help you communicate it clearly—and avoid wasting time with people on a different page.
Pro Tip: There’s no wrong answer. Just be upfront with your intentions. People respect honesty more than polished perfection.
Step 2: Choose the Right Platform for You
You don’t need to be on every dating app out there. That’s how burnout happens. Instead, choose one or two that match what you’re looking for.
Here’s a quick cheat sheet:
- Tinder – Great for casual connections, but also has potential for real relationships if you sift through.
- Bumble – Women message first. It’s good for thoughtful convos and a balanced dating dynamic.
- Hinge – Designed to be deleted. Best for serious dating and relationship seekers.
- Facebook Dating – Ideal if you want something built into your existing social app with local matches.
- Match, eHarmony, etc. – More serious and often paid, but can yield high-quality matches if you’re ready to commit.
Not into apps? No worries. You can meet singles through:
- Mutual friends
- Local events and meetups
- Community groups or classes
- Volunteering or networking activities
The key is putting yourself in spaces where connection is possible. If you’re always in your comfort zone, chances are you won’t meet someone new.
Step 3: Set Up a Profile That Attracts the Right People
Let’s talk profiles—for apps or even in-person intros, your first impression matters.
Profile Picture Tips:
- Use clear, recent photos (within the last year).
- Have a mix: a headshot, full-body shot, and a lifestyle pic (like hiking, cooking, laughing).
- Avoid group shots as your main pic—don’t make people guess who you are.
Bio Tips:
- Keep it light, honest, and to the point.
- Inject some personality. Skip the generic stuff like “I love to laugh.”
- Mention what you’re looking for:
“Looking for someone kind, curious, and who won’t judge my love for dad jokes.”
Do’s:
- Mention your passions.
- Be playful but clear.
- Add conversation starters (favorite books, shows, weekend plans).
Don’ts:
- Don’t list what you don’t want. Keep it positive.
- Don’t write a novel—this isn’t your autobiography.
- Don’t lie. Seriously, that never ends well.
Step 4: Start Reaching Out (Without Being Weird)
Now that your profile’s good to go, it’s time to actually start connecting with people. This is where most people either shine—or crash and burn.
Here’s how to send a message that gets a reply:
Skip “Hey.” Just… Don’t.
Nobody wants to open an app and see ten messages that say “Hey.” That’s not how you stand out.
Do This Instead:
- Mention something specific from their profile:
“I see you love hiking—got any trail recommendations around [your city]?” - Ask a casual question:
“Would you rather never drink coffee again or never watch movies again?” - Share a relatable comment:
“You binge-watched The Office seven times? Okay, we can be friends.”
Keep it light and easy to respond to. Dating should feel like a fun conversation, not a job interview.
Step 5: Keep the Conversation Going
Once someone replies, your goal is to build momentum—not interrogate them.
Conversation Starters That Work:
- “What’s your idea of a perfect weekend?”
- “What’s one thing on your bucket list you haven’t done yet?”
- “What’s something random that always makes you laugh?”
What to Avoid:
- Getting too deep too fast. Don’t trauma-dump on Day 1.
- Rapid-fire questions. This isn’t a quiz.
- Overthinking. Just talk like you would with a new friend.
If the chat feels natural, that’s a good sign. If it’s dry or forced, it’s okay to move on. Not every match is meant to be something.
Step 6: Move to Real-Life Interaction (When It Feels Right)
You don’t want to get stuck in texting limbo forever. At some point, you’ll want to meet face-to-face—or at least hop on a voice or video call.
When’s the right time? Usually after a few days of solid conversation. Don’t wait weeks unless there’s a really good reason.
First Date Ideas That Aren’t Boring:
- Coffee or tea at a local café
- Mini golf or arcade night
- Walk in the park or local farmers market
- Brunch or casual dinner
- Museum or art walk
Keep it low pressure. Avoid super fancy dinners or anything that feels like a major commitment right off the bat.
Step 7: Follow Up and Be Honest
So the first date happened. Maybe it went well. Maybe it didn’t. Either way—follow up.
If you had a great time, say so. Something like:
“Had a blast chatting with you. Want to do it again next weekend?”
If you didn’t feel a spark, be kind but clear:
“Hey, I enjoyed meeting you, but I didn’t feel a romantic vibe. Wishing you the best out there!”
Being honest doesn’t make you mean—it makes you emotionally mature. And it saves both of you time.
How to Stay Positive in the Process
Let’s be real. Dating can be fun, but also a little discouraging at times. You might:
- Not click with people
- Get ghosted
- Feel like it’s not working
That’s normal. It happens to everyone. The key is to not take it personally and stay grounded.
Here’s what helps:
- Take breaks when needed. Burnout is real.
- Remind yourself that rejection isn’t failure—it’s redirection.
- Focus on progress, not perfection.
- Keep your life full—dating should add joy, not stress.
And above all, keep showing up. It only takes one right person to change everything.
Red Flags to Watch Out For
Not everyone you meet will be a good match—or even a good person. Know what to look out for.
Major Red Flags:
- Love bombing (too much, too soon)
- Refusing to meet or call
- Inconsistent behavior
- Making you feel guilty for asking questions
- Overly vague or sketchy answers
Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is.
Green Flags to Look For
Let’s end on a high note. Here’s what you should be looking for in a potential match:
- Consistent communication
- Respect for your time and boundaries
- Shared interests or values
- Willingness to meet halfway
- A sense of humor and emotional maturity
When you find someone who checks those boxes, don’t second guess it. Lean in and see where it goes.
Conclusion: Real Connection Is Still Possible
You don’t need to be a dating expert or have a perfect strategy to meet someone amazing. You just need to be open, honest, and willing to take that first step.
Getting started is the hardest part—but once you do, every message, every convo, every first date brings you closer to finding that one person who gets you.
So, create that profile. Ask that question. Send that first message.
Because someone out there is hoping to meet someone just like you—and they won’t find you if you don’t show up.
Need help writing your dating profile or crafting that first message? I’ve got your back. Just ask!